STEP 1 ASK OTHERS ABOUT THEMSELVES
Pay attention to passing comments and ask about the person’s background and interests.

Examples:
• Bill, you said you like to fish. Do you prefer deep sea or fly fishing?
• I’m interested in joining a CrossFit gym. Do you have any suggestions for beginners?
• How did you get involved with the Boys and Girls Club of Los Angeles? I’ve heard it is an amazing organization.

STEP 2 PAY ATTENTION
Compliment people on things you admire about them or share your observations about your surroundings.

Examples:
• Amy, I love that dress! It is absolutely perfect for this hot summer day. Where do you like to shop?
• This golf club is really a great venue. Have you ever played the course?
• I love the wine you served at dinner. Have you had a chance to visit any local wineries?
• You have a lovely home! Did you do all the interior decorating yourself?

STEP 3 ADD “MEAT” TO THE CONVERSATION
Enrich the conversation by talking about the other person's passions and sharing your experiences.

Examples:

• Have you done any fly fishing in southwestern Alaska? That’s my favorite spot for fishing and Alaska is very good about protecting their wildlife, too.
• The fundraising team does a great job of getting support from local businesses. I wonder if they can teach this skill to other charities?
• The keynote speech on social activism was inspiring. Who inspired you to become so involved in your community?

STEP 4 BE AN ACTIVE LISTENER
Listen and ask pertinent questions to keep the other person talking.

Examples:
• I liked the keynote speaker, too. What do you think was their most interesting argument?
• I belong to the Meadow Hills Golf Club, too. What do you think of the new golf pro?
• After you finished playing for your college team, did you consider going pro?

STEP 5 DON’T WORRY ABOUT BEING AN EXPERT
Be honest about topics where you have no experience and give people an opportunity to teach you.

Examples:
• I don’t follow the fashion industry. How do you discover new trends that are appropriate for work events?
• I’ve been to a few tastings, but I don’t know much about wine. How did you learn so much about area vineyards?
• I can’t say I follow college basketball. Was your team division 1?

STEP 6 USE BORING TOPICS SPARINGLY
Focus on topics that are meaningful to the other person but, if all else fails, talk about subject that everyone has in common such as the weather or current events..

Examples:
• This sunny weather is great for a barbecue, but it’s a reminder of how bad the drought is getting!Did you hear the latest report?
• Did you see “the latest blockbuster movie”? What did you think of it?
• Last night’s game was such a disappointment! Do you think they will fire the coach?